#1. You Could Be Watching Columbo
One more thing...
I've set out to write the least essential newsletter on the internet. I'm compelled to write it, but you definitely don't have to read it.
Every week, month, or some other measure of time too inscrutable to predict, I'll deliver a bulletproof reason why you should delete this newsletter. Let's do it. Hopefully, I can convince you before you make it to the end.
#1. You could be watching Columbo.
Odds are, you've heard the word Columbo. Like you've heard “Matlock” or “Perry Mason.” But unless you're a huge Peter Falk-a-phile (Falk-head? Falk-er?), it's just a dusty relic from the 70s, and that's a ding-dang shame.
(A rumpled hat tip to my podcast co-host, Anthony Lopez, for showing me the pure unassuming joy of Columbo.)
3 reasons why you should delete this newsletter and watch Columbo
These guest stars 🤌. Every episode a new murderer, chomping up scenery like a vintage wood chipper. Donald Pleasence who you know, but might not know you know, (you know?) is an adulterated delight as a wine snob who fully snubs out his wittless half-bro.
It popularized the howcatchem. Guessing who the murderer is? Yawn. Guessing how Columbo is gonna nail pompous photographer Dick Van Dyke? Yass.
Chim-chim cher–DEATH (h/t Columbophile) Brilliant, lazy writers. Columbo’s catch phrase, “one more thing” where he leaves the room and doubles back to drop some bit of evidence on the murderer comes from pure laziness. Showrunners Levinson and Link would write a scene, realize it was too short. But instead of rewriting the whole thing (because it was on a typewriter, hi 1971) they’d stretch it with a “one more thing.”
Plus, if you’ve been enjoying Poker Face like I have, you’ve basically seen Columbo 2.0.
Hooked? Intrigued? Here’s a greatest hits episode list from Anthony:
S1 E4 Suitable For Framing. Love the ending of this one.
S3 E2 Any Old Port in a Storm. Donald Pleasence loves wine and a little bit or murder.
S4 E2 Negative Reaction Dick Van Dyke kills his wife.
Bonus:
If you can watch more:
S1 E1 Murder by the Book Directed by a 24 year old Steven Spielberg.
S2 E1 Etude in Black John Cassavetes is really good in this one.
S3 E7 Swan Song Johnny Cash is gospel singer, pilot and murderer. Good music in this one
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And in a month or two (or already depending when you’re reading this, Anthony and I will be talking Columbo on our podcast. You don’t want to miss it. (Probably, I don’t know how good it is yet.)
And we are now at the end. If you've made it this far, I've utterly failed to have you delete this newsletter. Welp, better luck next week/month/inscrutable something.
Watched the show? Tell me all your thoughts on Columbo 👇